May 25, 2017
Today is my youngest sons 6th Birthday. I miss him so very much since he’s been away these grueling 1046 days. I miss the time lost and taken from us. I miss his little voice in the morning while I made coffee asking, “play with me Daddy, play cars and trains with me Daddy?”
I built my boys a play table for trains and cars that my older son Matthew handed down to John. He loved that table and all the fun things we would build together. He would spend hours on that table in his own little world and imagination much like I did when I was 4 years old.
John and I lost that table and all his cars and trains in the midst of our family crisis. I’ve been searching and piecing together those lost classic matchbox cars and Thomas wooden trains ever since. He loved those battery operated engines. It was nice to see him so excited about them.
I would say to him: I have my own private Birthday wish for you John and I’m sure its the same as yours too. I would pick you up and give you the biggest hug and kisses for your Birthday and would never let you go the whole day. I Love you so very much my Birthday boy, my “Big Boy!”