My boyfriend never compliments me, has put me down about my weight in the past, and he knows it upsets me. I asked him why he never compl…

Posted on Updated on

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

I've had experience with that exact same issue. I'm certain that it was not always this way in your relationship. Poor communication and lack of respect for each other can be very insidious over time. Resentments and apathy can fester and you find it getting worse the longer the issues are not addressed and resolved.

My first inclination is to recommend ending the relationship and to move on  to more positive people in your life.

Alternatively, if you have years invested and see clearly there is positive potential, it's not completely hopeless or the end. If you are both willing and committed to at least 4 months of counseling to help start to communicate freely and honestly, then go for it.

Keep in mind it will be very difficult in the beginning. You will both bring to the surface those regressed issues and/or resentments that have brought you to the negative behaviors you are experiencing today.

I for one do not give up easily in my relationships. I was brought up to seek every avenue to repair a relationship and work things out. Unfortunately, that has backfired on me once or twice and found myself in a relationship I should have ended long ago. That is mostly due to the fact that the other person in the relationship was not willing nor capable to commit to open/honest assessment of themselves and their contribution to the relationship. So, you may find that you are willing and able; but, you will never change or convince someone else to do the same if they are not interested.

Thomas Zerbarini

My boyfriend never compliments me, has put me down about my weight in the past, and he knows it upsets me. I asked him why he never compl…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s